engleza

The English Plural





>according to....



>We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,



>But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.



>One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,



>Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.



>You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,



>Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.




>If the plural of man is always called men,



>Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?



>If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,



>And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?



>If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,



>Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?




>Then one may be that, and there would be those,



>Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,



>And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.



>We speak of a brother and also of brethren,



>But though we say mother, we never say methren.



>Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,



>But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!




>Let's face it - English is a crazy language.



>There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;



>Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.



>English muffins weren't invented in England.




>We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,



>We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,



>And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.



>And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,



>Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?




>Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?



>If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of

them,



>What do you call it?




>If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?



>If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?





>Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English




>Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.



>In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a

recital?





>We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...



>We have noses that run and feet that smell.



>We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.



>And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,



>While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?




>You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language



>In which your house can burn up as it burns down,



>In which you fill in a form by filling it out,



>And in which an alarm goes off by going on.


>And in closing..........





>If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.???


>Geoff B